I have been very pissed off at gratitude. Whenever I heard the word, or heard that I had to be grateful for what I have so I can get more of what I want, I snarled, I turned my back, I said “F you gratitude”.
After about 2 weeks of feeling this way towards gratitude, it finally caught the attention of my witness. “What the hell was going on?” Why was I so pissed off at gratitude?
I realized that I was angry with gratitude because it wasn’t working for me in two areas of my life, and you know the mind, it focuses on the problems and not the good stuff. So my mind was trying to convince me that gratitude doesn’t work and that I should shun it.
Wow, my mind was underhandedly determined to knock gratitude off its pedestal and say we don’t need you anymore. It was that strong of an emotion, it felt like it would knock me down with it.
So I probed further and uncovered some personal prejudices and some universal aha’s.
My personal realization was that I was trying to force myself into feeling grateful for the things in my life that I didn’t like. I was ok with accepting them, but there was a disconnect to actually being grateful for them. And anything that I feel forced to do, I usually do the opposite, my rebel was interjecting from the deep shadow of subconsciousness.
And then the large boulder Aha came crashing in. I uncovered that I had to go after gratitude, I had to seek gratitude, seek the things that actually gratified me. Not forcing gratitude on the things that I was told I needed to be grateful for, but to genuinely feel gratitude.
AAAAHHHH!! The angels sing.
It’s time to give up the fake smile of gratitude, if you don’t feel it, then you need to find it. The definition and experience of gratitude have upgraded, and it is time for us to plant our feet directly in the electrical fancy of true appreciation.
Experiment, what can you do that makes you feel grateful, not where you have to remind yourself to be? Set your clear intention that you will find gratitude and you will know it when it hits you.
Keep trying different things until you harmoniously feel the gracious wind of thankfulness blow through your cells, as you shiver with recognition of success. “I found it”.
Follow gratitude, seek it out, that is all.