Aren’t you tired of doing things that don’t work? I am, so tired.
Why do we keep doing them when it’s frustrating and not making us happy?
The other day I walked into the kitchen and started talking to my boyfriend. I was talking for a few minutes and then I asked him a question and he said that he didn’t hear me. So of course I got annoyed and said “If we are the only people in the room and I am talking that means that I am talking to you”. And of course he got annoyed that I was being aggressive and bitchy. Then I realized that when he annoys me I get rude or sarcastic, and then he gets upset and angry and we start to fight.
Then the AHA!
What if I tried it a different way? What could I say instead? What if I came from a place of pure love for myself?
I thought about it for a while, and my ego was going crazy; ‘Of course I should be annoyed, and of course he should feel as bad as I do’, but that doesn’t feel good for either of us. I finally got my ego to calm down and I sat quietly for a short while.
My realization: I felt bad because I felt that he wasn’t listening to me, and wasn’t making me feel important. But I don’t need him to listen to me to feel important or loved, so there is no reason for me to be upset with him. If I am feeling aligned and am powerfully loving myself I can come from a place of understanding. I would understand that he was thinking of something, that we were both tired and he wasn’t present, and that is ok.
And that is when I realized that I can free myself from doing things that don’t work.
I have been freeing myself ongoing for many years, but there are so many things that you don’t see easily and by making it a priority to only feel good you will notice more and more of the things that aren’t working in your life.
What is making you feel annoyed right now?
How can you feel differently about it?
What are you doing from habit right now, and how can you easily change it?
By noticing that my reaction to my boyfriend did not make me feel good, I was able to see my habit at getting mad at him for not listening.
I also realized that this happens a lot, I know that he has a lot on his mind and is often thinking of things that he has to do for his business, and if I walk into a room and just start talking that there is a good chance that he is not present for me. So if I want to have him listen, I need to make sure that he is listening, it is that easy.
If it is my priority to feel good, I have to do things that make be feel good, and yelling at him does not feel good, even though my ego says it does.
Use your honed skills of observation to notice what feels good and what doesn’t, and do whatever you can to have more and more good feelings in your life.
Free yourself from doing things that don’t work.
I would love to hear how you’re noticing your habits and what you’re doing to feel fabulous. Leave your comments below.